I got a great giggle from my daughter Sarah and my nephew Ryan who shared their tales of their job as ride attendants this Summer in Roller- Coaster parks. These poor unfortunate 20 year olds had to do special training against the most unwelcome visitor of the parks, 'The Mother'. Yes, 'The Mother' is the most dreaded customer of a Rollar-Coaster Park. The young employees were warned,"Do not back down, nor give in to 'The Mother' at any time! If you need back-up, call security!
Do not underestimate 'The Mother'. Because 'The Mother' will do anything to skip the queue!
She can also harvest the seven most deadly emotions at any one time: Agitation, Impatience, Sensitivity, Stress, Anger, Aggression and Tears and fire them at you like missiles, one after the other. She won't stop until she has, A. accomplished her mission to skip the queue and B. get future free admission to The Roller-Coaster Park.
Now we can all get a little bit frustrated with these gorgeous young ride attendants. They could probably go a little bit faster themselves to help things move on a bit quicker, oh yeah, but then we'd have to wake them up! Or we might have to interrupt their flirting with Josephine or Mary across the next line.
The Mother in the mean time has already broken her first rule of The Roller-Coaster Park as she doesn't like to pay the full cost of entry for her ten year old twins. They will be shoved into a buggy with soothers in their mouths and told to say they're nearly three, they're tall for their age! When they get to their ride of choice, she will lift them up to reach the required height, saying, 'They are twelve!'
She will sneak pets in, not wanting to leave her little doggy home alone. She'll hide him under the jacket of little Susan just to give him the life threatening experience of his first Roller Coaster. If the ride attendant is awake and comes over to investigate, The Mother will roar, 'Get your hands off my child!'
She will sneak food into the Park saying if caught, 'My children have lots of allergies and can't eat that Park food crap!'
If the ride attendant is not chatting with 'The Mother' and her little angels while she's at the top of the queue, because the attendant is too busy doing selfies and checking her pose in her IPhone 6, She will immediately call the manager and complain about the whole day! The price! The service! The ride attendants attitude! The queues! The heat! The rain! The people! The seats, not enough of them or too many that she's banging into them! The kids! And don't forget the lockers! The Mother hates to put her bags into lockers, she insists on bringing them on the Roller-Coaster!
And God help you if you're the attendant who has to weigh her family for the latest four seated rubber tire that can do double flips and dives for the modest family combined weight of 700 pounds. If they weigh over the 700 pounds, they'll have to go in twos. "What do you mean we weigh over 700 pounds? Are you saying we're fat? That scales is wrong! We are not over weight! Bring me another scales! Get me the manager!'
And if you are neck and neck in line with 'The Mother' don't even think about skipping her because she will come up to your face and threaten to kill you, kill your mother and kill all of your family! And she is not joking!
When the ride attendant's shift changes three times and 'The Mother' is still in the queue and the tired and over worked attendant lets the next person in before her by accident.....
He may just run for his life!
'No Shauna! The Mother is not me!'
Jean xxx
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