I have a distinct feeling that someone up there beyond the mile deep clouds is having a good ole laugh at my expense. And I have no idea why!
Ok, so I was a terrible cheeky teenager to my Dad, (to which I apologised, (Oh, I'm not too sure I did apologise actually! So maybe it is him getting his own back on me!)
If you think there is nobody upstairs or afterlife or God, just have a look at your own life. Isn't it the most difficult thing you ever had to do? You may think you're isolated in this challenging life, but I'm pretty sure you're not. Everybody must have their shite. Even poor David Bowie, (And wasn't he a true legend?) His last song and video called Lazarus is very powerful.
And, if you listened to all of his songs, he was singing his truth! Good for him. At least now he is at peace. And he left us a lot of inspiring songs to help us figure him out.
So as you know, the pressures of my life were dragging me down lately. I went and walked my dogs yesterday and in the open space I feel closer to God. I asked him for help and guidance.
Or for anybody out there reading this, whoever frees your mind from doom.
Walking in the lovely cold fresh air really helps. Ok, so I wasn't Mary Poppins when I came back from my walk but I did get a few things done in my house afterwards. And I was able to cook a meal for my family. I was able to help Yasmin with her homework and I went to bed when she went to bed at 9.30.
I was up with Yasmin at 6.30 this morning and tackled my washing and ironing before I dropped her to school and came back to walk my dogs in the fields.
I walked through the muck and let my excited dogs off their leads and prayed to God to free my mind from negatives and resentments and fill my mind with positives and gratitudes. I was also praying that they wouldn't knock me over with their powerful speed. They have the power to crush my hips or leg!
My three handsome dogs were dashing about, happy to be free. As I pray, I keep an eye out for them. Storm never strays far from me. He's my four year old grey Husky that I re-homed from a young couple who worked long hours to my house where there was constant activity. He is forever loyal.
Skye, my eight year old female red Husky who is the leader of my two year old white Husky ran off and into the road. Next thing I heard was screams and squeals of pain that I knew was coming from my white guy.
I am really not good for this. I can't see people or animals lose limbs, or blood and guts from things.
I had to go and walk towards my white dog's cries of pain.
There he was, the poor fella had scrambled back into the field to his mam, (me). I knew from 50 metres that his leg was broken badly. I could also see, with my bad eyes, that there was no visual signs of blood. That was good. I could approach him. I really couldn't be dealing with missing bits of his body. (Just to let you know, who ever hit him, never stopped! I'm not sure what kind of person does that)
I was instantly upset for the egit's pain. I had no phone on me, so I had to go out into the road to flag someone for help.
Now, I didn't look good. I was in my muddy field walking clothes, (You really can't wear your good jeans walking in Ratoath. It doesn't go.) I had my favourite hat on that holds in my unruly hair. The one with the bright pink flowers that apparently does nothing for me. And there I was, frigging crying, trying to get someone to stop. No wonder the first few drove past. Anyway, an old man stopped and then a young man in a van stopped. And they both followed me into the field to help my dog.
The poor ole creature was in such pain, we couldn't pick him up. His poor ole leg was dangling so loosely, I thought it was going to fall off. I couldn't look!
In the mean time, my other two crazy dogs were jumping up and down all of us for some answers, (Is he going to be ok?) I eventually grabbed their collars and got my poor white dog to hop along behind me in so much pain, to the kind old man's car. He obligingly struggled in to the old man's car boot who brought him to the Ratoath vets. The young man got my two other Huskies into the back of his van and dropped them safely home.
Frigging dogs.
As I went to the Vet's, I was thinking if Sully were to lose a leg, maybe it would be better if he were put down, although I knew in my heart, that he would survive with only three legs and that I would let him.
Miraculously, Sully had a break that could be fixed!
I asked the vet first of all, was he out of pain and yes, the lovely vet had given him the wonder drug, Morphine! (Don't knock it. It is the only drug that takes the pain away and I didn't want to see my little guy suffer)
Sully will be in vet hospital till Friday! It'll cost me a small fortune, but will I find the money from somewhere? Of course I will!
You know, life is like a crazy carnival.
There is always something so dangerous going on.
I would never go to the RDS fun-fare for fear of my life, but I guess I don't have to.
My life is full of dangerous roller coaster rides.
Jean xxx
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