My last child Yasmin who is ten years and nine months old was diagnosed with Dyspraxia when she was just over five years of age.
Dyspraxia is a delayed developmental disorder of the brain causing difficulties in activities requiring coordination and movement. Inside her Dyspraxia came dyslexia, dyscalculia (maths dyslexia) speech and language comprehension disorder and severe sensory difficulties.
Yasmin would take a long time to learn a task.
In those early years before a diagnosis, life was very crazy with Yasmin, (my little angel).
The first thing that I noticed was unusual was her car sickness. Yasmin started to get car sickness at six months old. As soon as we got on the road to do basic groceries or errands, Yasmin would vomit up very severely. This happened every day and sometimes twice a day all the way till she was nearly eight years old. ( When her continuous sessions of Occupational therapy kicked in, it really turned things around!)
I spent endless hours pulled up on the side of roads and motor ways trying to clean up her and the car. I managed really well most of the time because as well as being sick, Yasmin would scream hysterically with discomfort or fear. I had to remain calm to reassure her, but a couple of times I had a couple of tantrums myself and scared both Yasmin and Sarah.
There was one time that is a bit funny. Yasmin was about three years old and I was picking up Sarah from the horse yard about six km away. It was a winter's evening, so it was dark and rainy with heavy winds. And it happened, Yasmin said 'Sick, sick!' I got Sarah to pass a bag back to her, (At this point Yasmin could hold a bag to get sick in, it helped a lot!) Yasmin proceeds to get sick and is crying hysterically. I reach back and take the bag when she's finished, (No I don't stop the car and pull in till it's over, I was really tired and just needed to get home:) )I hand the bag to Sarah to hold, (Sarah's thirteen at the time) "No, Ugh, No! I can't hold it!" She squeals. "Oh for God's sake Sarah! Throw it out the window!" I say. (I forgot to mention, that Yasmin has to have the window down in the car in freezing conditions!) Sarah throws the bag out of her window up front and the bag of vomit flies into Yasmin's window at the back! Going all over Yasmin and the car! "Ahghghgh!" I scream, (No I still don't stop the car!) I had to put Yasmin straight into the bath (And water hurts her!) and I cleaned the car the next morning. (I went through a lot of car seats and cars!)
On one of her last bouts of sickness, (I have to share this) we were traveling to JFK Airport in a smelly taxi cab. It was a hot summer day and there was a lot of traffic. The lovely Haiti guy was really chatty, but he was jamming on the breaks every couple of minutes. Yasmin was crying, she felt really ill. The inevitable happens. Thankfully we had one plastic bag and Yasmin filled it well and then I felt so ill, I had to get sick too! As Myself and Yasmin were vomiting in the bag, the taxi guy was saying to my husband, "Are they ok?" And my hubby says, "Just keep driving, they're grand," The smell was killing him!
Yasmin said later, "Oh Mam, your sick really smelled!"
In the last five years of solid help for Yasmin, she has come along way. Yes it took her a long time for her to learn to ride a bike and skip and swim, (mastering swimming in the last year!) And she had many injuries from falling while just playing, broken leg, arms, elbows, wrists, head bump, and nasty gashes.
I was a nervous wreck by the time she started pony lessons at age five and after many falls, you wouldn't believe what she has mastered in pony riding today! She says it is her passion. (Pony riding is very good for children with difficulties)
Yasmin loves school (Rathbeggan National school) and all her friends. She knows she's a bit different in ways, but she also knows everybody is different. Although she finds literal and numerical work difficult, she is eager to learn.
Her planning and organizational skills and showers are something that I'm going to be helping with for a long time, but I'm happy to do it.
There were a hard few years and I am grateful to all who has helped Yasmin achieve her milestones.
Now, as she approaches puberty age, I ask her, "Will I show you that book on body changes for growing girls?" And she says.
"Not yet mammy."
Jean xx
Friday, 26 June 2015
Thursday, 25 June 2015
An ordinary life!
As I wake each morning, I remind myself that life is a gift and to cherish every moment. I am so glad that my family are healthy and safe and that is also a gift for me. I am grateful for each new day of Irish unruly weather and it's wonderful fresh air.
I started to practice this brain washing about three years ago in order to battle my negative brain that was depressed. This really started to help me and had real and lasting results. It doesn't cure depression, because depressed brains also have a chemical imbalance. Depression will come and go like the flu, but when it does, I'm kinder to myself now. I listen to my mind and body and take care of it. I still practice positive thinking and gratitude because that is so important to me.
Of course, I still have to tackle my daily duties of life, being a Mother, a Wife, cleaning my house. I wrestle the job of balancing our bills like every other parent with the endless lists of needs, so I'm not going around like 'Maria' from 'The Sound of Music'! I make lots of mistakes!
But that is life. Life is a challenging road. A learning road.
I found it very easy to write my book 'My beautiful flower' because it was a discovery book about myself. The road I took in life, the mistakes I made and the lessons I learned.
It's a beautiful journey of someone who is nobody special. An ordinary person's life, that I'm sure there are loads of you with a life like mine. But every body's life is special, just like every body's birth is so individually different and special.
I tell my story about my life that is beautiful and individual even though it has it's sadness and devastation. I am always aware on my journey through life that God's beautiful Earth surrounds my every moment of my travels and I share that with you even in my moment's of pain. I laugh at myself in places and I know you will laugh too at similar things you did in your life too.
jean xx
I started to practice this brain washing about three years ago in order to battle my negative brain that was depressed. This really started to help me and had real and lasting results. It doesn't cure depression, because depressed brains also have a chemical imbalance. Depression will come and go like the flu, but when it does, I'm kinder to myself now. I listen to my mind and body and take care of it. I still practice positive thinking and gratitude because that is so important to me.
Of course, I still have to tackle my daily duties of life, being a Mother, a Wife, cleaning my house. I wrestle the job of balancing our bills like every other parent with the endless lists of needs, so I'm not going around like 'Maria' from 'The Sound of Music'! I make lots of mistakes!
But that is life. Life is a challenging road. A learning road.
I found it very easy to write my book 'My beautiful flower' because it was a discovery book about myself. The road I took in life, the mistakes I made and the lessons I learned.
It's a beautiful journey of someone who is nobody special. An ordinary person's life, that I'm sure there are loads of you with a life like mine. But every body's life is special, just like every body's birth is so individually different and special.
I tell my story about my life that is beautiful and individual even though it has it's sadness and devastation. I am always aware on my journey through life that God's beautiful Earth surrounds my every moment of my travels and I share that with you even in my moment's of pain. I laugh at myself in places and I know you will laugh too at similar things you did in your life too.
jean xx
Wednesday, 24 June 2015
I'm always in trouble!
It's true.
I've spent a lot of my life being in trouble for some impulsive act or another (all legal) which seemed like a good idea at the time.
To be honest, I've always been happy enough with my impulsive act of choice at the time and they mostly had good out comes, (apart from the one where I walked 'The Burragh Mountains', Fenore County Clare in a heavy fog and got lost for four hours! Or the one where I decided to walk home from the 'Mall in Naples, Florida' when I was 20, only to realize after walking for over three hours that I was on The Tamiami Trail and I was heading for Miami and I was lost!)
Yes, I have lived to tell the tale. But why haven't I learned from the mistakes I have made?
I know when I am making a decision to do something at the time, my inner voice says, 'It'll be ok' but where is my cautious voice saying 'Wait a minute, think this through'. That normally arrives afterwards saying 'Oops, you shouldn't have done that!'
Because my decision inevitably effects someone else's pocket (my husband's) and they may not like my decision at the time and then I get into trouble. And I carry a lot of guilt, believe me.
And in a follow up from my last blog 'The cost of Living', limited finances prevents us in being free to make a lot of decisions.
As a very hard worker all my life, I guess I spent more than I earned. That is the reason that my own bank just meets it's needs, not it's luxuries.
So after my break down a couple of years ago, maybe I could've just sat there at 45 years of age and said, 'Ok, that's me done. I have tried and not succeeded in being successful.'
But my little girl, Yasmin, with her challenges was working hard, learning to read, spell and count and she inspired me to get up and try again.
So although I am still making mistakes and getting into trouble, I have come a long way in other areas and I have learned a lot from life.
But life is a continuos challenging road. And I still have lots to learn. I guess if it was all so simple, it would be boring?
I'm so sorry. My intention is not to upset anyone in the process of me living!
I am not perfect. I am only human and I make mistakes, but my heart is in the right place.
xx Jean
I've spent a lot of my life being in trouble for some impulsive act or another (all legal) which seemed like a good idea at the time.
To be honest, I've always been happy enough with my impulsive act of choice at the time and they mostly had good out comes, (apart from the one where I walked 'The Burragh Mountains', Fenore County Clare in a heavy fog and got lost for four hours! Or the one where I decided to walk home from the 'Mall in Naples, Florida' when I was 20, only to realize after walking for over three hours that I was on The Tamiami Trail and I was heading for Miami and I was lost!)
Yes, I have lived to tell the tale. But why haven't I learned from the mistakes I have made?
I know when I am making a decision to do something at the time, my inner voice says, 'It'll be ok' but where is my cautious voice saying 'Wait a minute, think this through'. That normally arrives afterwards saying 'Oops, you shouldn't have done that!'
Because my decision inevitably effects someone else's pocket (my husband's) and they may not like my decision at the time and then I get into trouble. And I carry a lot of guilt, believe me.
And in a follow up from my last blog 'The cost of Living', limited finances prevents us in being free to make a lot of decisions.
As a very hard worker all my life, I guess I spent more than I earned. That is the reason that my own bank just meets it's needs, not it's luxuries.
So after my break down a couple of years ago, maybe I could've just sat there at 45 years of age and said, 'Ok, that's me done. I have tried and not succeeded in being successful.'
But my little girl, Yasmin, with her challenges was working hard, learning to read, spell and count and she inspired me to get up and try again.
So although I am still making mistakes and getting into trouble, I have come a long way in other areas and I have learned a lot from life.
But life is a continuos challenging road. And I still have lots to learn. I guess if it was all so simple, it would be boring?
I'm so sorry. My intention is not to upset anyone in the process of me living!
I am not perfect. I am only human and I make mistakes, but my heart is in the right place.
xx Jean
The cost of Living
Ok, you do not need money to be happy in life. Self happiness comes from within. But unfortunately, you do need money to do everything else in life. Like basic education.
Some people have a gift of working hard and earning a living even without an education. Like my husband. He learned a roofing trade at age 14. But he used his basic counting skills to earn money. And he didn't spend what he didn't have.
I also chose a trade in hairdressing when I left school in 1982 because I thought I was good at styling hair. I was, but a hairdressing trade didn't provide a good income (It was 40 Irish pounds then for an apprenticeship) and I had to work double the average working week to just meet my financial needs, doing friends and families hairs late into my nights to earn a little more money. And I got used to never having enough money. I was fine. I didn't judge others for what they had. I was prepared to work hard for the things I needed.
If myself and my husband had to live on my income only, we would never have been able to provide for our children's educational needs or the sports they chose, or nice holidays, even a basic mortgage.
Today in Ireland, there are still an enormous amount of Irish people on lower incomes, still struggling to provide for their childrens' needs. Some because of the effects of the recent recession (2007) and some because they live on social welfare.
The people in Ireland who live on social welfare are there because of the lack of educational and emotional help when they were children of indeed the last recession in the late 70's.
The Irish people, even in so called dysfunctional families, now realize that education is the key for their children's future. It's the link for them to be able to move away from poverty and repression and earn a higher income.
Education was always the key to a more prosperous life. We ordinary people of Ireland are only catching on to this now, but our governments knew this, even in the past decades. They left the poor were they were, just providing for their basic needs.
I'm not blaming our governments for everything. I believe if you can provide for your childrens' health and education, it is your right and duty to ensure that duty of care.
If people are on social welfare, due to disability, lack of education and dysfunction, well thats where the government needs to target their resources. they are entitled to educate their poor, meet their emotional needs. We all know the outcome will be better in the long run.
Before my 40's, I had little confidence in myself and I knew that education was the key to my freedom. As I grew emotionally, I felt that God led me on the path of writing.
Now at last, I feel that I'm on the road I should be. I love sharing my experiences and life lessons and I work hard every day writing and promoting what I write. Jean Murray.xx
Some people have a gift of working hard and earning a living even without an education. Like my husband. He learned a roofing trade at age 14. But he used his basic counting skills to earn money. And he didn't spend what he didn't have.
I also chose a trade in hairdressing when I left school in 1982 because I thought I was good at styling hair. I was, but a hairdressing trade didn't provide a good income (It was 40 Irish pounds then for an apprenticeship) and I had to work double the average working week to just meet my financial needs, doing friends and families hairs late into my nights to earn a little more money. And I got used to never having enough money. I was fine. I didn't judge others for what they had. I was prepared to work hard for the things I needed.
If myself and my husband had to live on my income only, we would never have been able to provide for our children's educational needs or the sports they chose, or nice holidays, even a basic mortgage.
Today in Ireland, there are still an enormous amount of Irish people on lower incomes, still struggling to provide for their childrens' needs. Some because of the effects of the recent recession (2007) and some because they live on social welfare.
The people in Ireland who live on social welfare are there because of the lack of educational and emotional help when they were children of indeed the last recession in the late 70's.
The Irish people, even in so called dysfunctional families, now realize that education is the key for their children's future. It's the link for them to be able to move away from poverty and repression and earn a higher income.
Education was always the key to a more prosperous life. We ordinary people of Ireland are only catching on to this now, but our governments knew this, even in the past decades. They left the poor were they were, just providing for their basic needs.
I'm not blaming our governments for everything. I believe if you can provide for your childrens' health and education, it is your right and duty to ensure that duty of care.
If people are on social welfare, due to disability, lack of education and dysfunction, well thats where the government needs to target their resources. they are entitled to educate their poor, meet their emotional needs. We all know the outcome will be better in the long run.
Before my 40's, I had little confidence in myself and I knew that education was the key to my freedom. As I grew emotionally, I felt that God led me on the path of writing.
Now at last, I feel that I'm on the road I should be. I love sharing my experiences and life lessons and I work hard every day writing and promoting what I write. Jean Murray.xx
Sunday, 21 June 2015
Young people of Ireland!
'Young People of Ireland!' I remember Pope John Paul saying these words to the one million Irish people who had turned up to hear him speak in the Pheonix Park, Dublin. It was at the end of September in 1979 and I was twelve years of age. I am so happy and proud that my Mam and Dad woke us six girls up at 3am in the morning so that we could go and walk to the Pheonix park with the hundreds of our neighbours to see our Pope and hear his inspiring words. He was a wonderful man. He had great kindness and compassion. He gave us Hope.
As I think about The Berkley kids who lost their lives through a freak and tragic incident and those who are severely injured and those who are emotionally injured. Their Mothers, Fathers, Sisters and Brothers broken.
How those Mothers would beg God to change places with their kids, in an instant they would go. They would gladly wish for time to go back for just one week and then it would be all ok......
That they don't have to live in this heart breaking sorrow and severe agony of their loss.
These were our 'Young People of Ireland'. The examples of what our great country has to offer. These fun loving, hard working kids, who had the gift of the Irish gab. We were so proud to see them go off to the great America, where their ancestors went before them.
Ireland has grown so much in the last few decades and we are learning to get it right. We love our kids so much. We love to see them educated. We love to see them beautiful. We love to see them travel. We love to see them carry on the Irish banter that only the Irish do so well. And they were so loved the short time they were there, because they were wonderful kids. They were full of chat with their irish accents that the Americans love so well. These handsome rugged lads and the pretty colleens.
And now they are gone to God. And we are not ready. . how can a parent be ready for this?
Can we at least reassure you parents that your children went instantly and felt no pain. That's a small comfort maybe?
And that they are with God and maybe some past relatives? And maybe after they too get used to Heaven without their Mam's and Dad's and sisters and brothers and their friends, they will settle in and enjoy their new J1 Visa in Heaven?
And Pope John Paul gave us Hope. And Hope is all we have.
We Hope that your pain will lesson in time and we Hope that you will see your dearest children again.
Jean Murray.
As I think about The Berkley kids who lost their lives through a freak and tragic incident and those who are severely injured and those who are emotionally injured. Their Mothers, Fathers, Sisters and Brothers broken.
How those Mothers would beg God to change places with their kids, in an instant they would go. They would gladly wish for time to go back for just one week and then it would be all ok......
That they don't have to live in this heart breaking sorrow and severe agony of their loss.
These were our 'Young People of Ireland'. The examples of what our great country has to offer. These fun loving, hard working kids, who had the gift of the Irish gab. We were so proud to see them go off to the great America, where their ancestors went before them.
Ireland has grown so much in the last few decades and we are learning to get it right. We love our kids so much. We love to see them educated. We love to see them beautiful. We love to see them travel. We love to see them carry on the Irish banter that only the Irish do so well. And they were so loved the short time they were there, because they were wonderful kids. They were full of chat with their irish accents that the Americans love so well. These handsome rugged lads and the pretty colleens.
And now they are gone to God. And we are not ready. . how can a parent be ready for this?
Can we at least reassure you parents that your children went instantly and felt no pain. That's a small comfort maybe?
And that they are with God and maybe some past relatives? And maybe after they too get used to Heaven without their Mam's and Dad's and sisters and brothers and their friends, they will settle in and enjoy their new J1 Visa in Heaven?
And Pope John Paul gave us Hope. And Hope is all we have.
We Hope that your pain will lesson in time and we Hope that you will see your dearest children again.
Jean Murray.
Thursday, 18 June 2015
Going for it!
So, I'm finally having a little book launch today for 'My Beautiful Flower' in 'Forever Amber' book shop in Ratoath at 12 o Clock.
As a person who doesn't like attention focused on to herself, (really, I don't) This is a bit nerve racking. It's a personal story, so I'm putting myself out there, but I'm not looking for adulation or pity. I learned from a lot of mistakes in my life and shared them with you all so that you can see there is light at the end of a tunnel. And there is always light at the end of a tunnel.
But I do have a goal, so I have to do this. I feel that my path is to be a writer and I am excited about 'Madhead the Crazy Horse' coming in the autumn. Sarah has done a great job on the illustrations and I know that kids will love this book!
And I'm excited about my crime story 'Shame so Deep', (not edited yet)
A lover of reading all my life, I couldn't believe that I would be capable of writing one! Until I started!
It just shows that anyone of us can do anything as long as we believe in it.
Thanks your instinct.
That's your guidance from God.
As a person who doesn't like attention focused on to herself, (really, I don't) This is a bit nerve racking. It's a personal story, so I'm putting myself out there, but I'm not looking for adulation or pity. I learned from a lot of mistakes in my life and shared them with you all so that you can see there is light at the end of a tunnel. And there is always light at the end of a tunnel.
But I do have a goal, so I have to do this. I feel that my path is to be a writer and I am excited about 'Madhead the Crazy Horse' coming in the autumn. Sarah has done a great job on the illustrations and I know that kids will love this book!
And I'm excited about my crime story 'Shame so Deep', (not edited yet)
A lover of reading all my life, I couldn't believe that I would be capable of writing one! Until I started!
It just shows that anyone of us can do anything as long as we believe in it.
Thanks your instinct.
That's your guidance from God.
Wednesday, 17 June 2015
Me poor Ma!
My poor Ma has broken her ankle. So she has to rest and not walk on it. At 74, my Ma is very independent and doesn't like to sit still. It was decided among us sisters that would go and stay in our Christine's to rest. This was going to be a challenge for her!
To save her from boredom, I decided to bring her out for a little treat today and get her hair done. As she's on a walking frame and has to keep the leg up, she has to hop on her good leg and she's not a great hopper! Also her dog Shaggy has separation anxiety so he had to come along in the car. The point being, we couldn't go too far from the car to the shop, (so that Shaggy could see her!) nor, could we go anywhere with an upstairs.
It was all going grand, as we went to Altered Images Hair Salon in Ratoath and the girl looked after Mammy and Ma enjoyed the banter.
I decided to finish the morning off with a bit of lunch in Cork's in Ashbourne. (Which is delicious)
As they are building again in Ashbourne and doing road works (a very common affair in Ireland) there was no parking to be got anywhere.
I had to drop Mammy on the corner, help her onto the bench and quickly move on from the impatient traffic behind me. I had no option but to park on the grass verge across the street.
Shaggy ran out of the car looking for Mammy and after a stressful chase, I got him back into the car. I left the window open for him and he was able to see Mammy across the road.
Next of all a rude obnoxious man decided to shout out from his car window, 'Do you know you're not supposed to park there?' As I tried to explain about the mammy and the dog, he was still giving out!
He went off to report me to the Garda, really! He saw my poor Ma struggling on her walking frame, he knew I had a good reason to park where I was, but the cranky old so and so (He was about 60, I'm sure it won't be too long till he finds himself in a similar situation) had no sympathy, nor respect for my 74 year old Mother.
The lovely Garda came down to me and he could see my Mother's circumstances and indeed my dillema and thankfully had no grievance with me.
Thankfully, there are not too many cranky people in the world!
To save her from boredom, I decided to bring her out for a little treat today and get her hair done. As she's on a walking frame and has to keep the leg up, she has to hop on her good leg and she's not a great hopper! Also her dog Shaggy has separation anxiety so he had to come along in the car. The point being, we couldn't go too far from the car to the shop, (so that Shaggy could see her!) nor, could we go anywhere with an upstairs.
It was all going grand, as we went to Altered Images Hair Salon in Ratoath and the girl looked after Mammy and Ma enjoyed the banter.
I decided to finish the morning off with a bit of lunch in Cork's in Ashbourne. (Which is delicious)
As they are building again in Ashbourne and doing road works (a very common affair in Ireland) there was no parking to be got anywhere.
I had to drop Mammy on the corner, help her onto the bench and quickly move on from the impatient traffic behind me. I had no option but to park on the grass verge across the street.
Shaggy ran out of the car looking for Mammy and after a stressful chase, I got him back into the car. I left the window open for him and he was able to see Mammy across the road.
Next of all a rude obnoxious man decided to shout out from his car window, 'Do you know you're not supposed to park there?' As I tried to explain about the mammy and the dog, he was still giving out!
He went off to report me to the Garda, really! He saw my poor Ma struggling on her walking frame, he knew I had a good reason to park where I was, but the cranky old so and so (He was about 60, I'm sure it won't be too long till he finds himself in a similar situation) had no sympathy, nor respect for my 74 year old Mother.
The lovely Garda came down to me and he could see my Mother's circumstances and indeed my dillema and thankfully had no grievance with me.
Thankfully, there are not too many cranky people in the world!
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