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Sunday 3 May 2015

Just for a moment....

For a moment,  I remembered why I fell in love with you....

You used to look at me the way Bruno Mars looks at his audience, he loves every moment of how his songs make people feel that he is really talking to them.  He sings the words and he means the words; You used to do that.

Then it was gone.

Friday 1 May 2015

Is it me?

I don't know anything anymore. I thought I was an ok person, with good values. What's wrong with liking people and wanting to include them in your life? Isn't there room for everyone? Why do some resent me for that?
What's wrong with using my husband's credit card to book things for myself and my kids? So, I like to go on holidays and have good seats at concerts, What's wrong with that? He's included also. I know he can afford it at the moment, but he doesn't want to spend his money on luxuries. He wants to pay off his mortgages, but that will take forever. Truly they are very high. He chose to invest in property. I supported him. It's doing ok. Everything's rented and is slowly paying itself off. But he wants to pay it faster. So we don't live. Can I live like that? Am I selfish? Am I really selfish?
I've been quite good in the recession I think, I didn't buy anything for myself, I paid my bills, I looked after my kids, ok, so they have expensive horse riding hobbies. Is that so wrong? It's good for them.
So, I come from a poor place, am I not to inspire to have more, want more? Shouldn't I have my own standard of good manners and etiquette? What's wrong with that? And why does it piss off my family so much? I'm not sitting down expecting nice things to fall in my lap. I've worked hard for nice things in my life. As far as I can see, I've nothing different than anybody else has and I want everybody to have what they want. I'm delighted to see people with nice things.
Why are people so quick to judge? I don't judge how they live their life, how they spend their money. Why do people think they can tell me how to spend my money? I don't work for my husband, I'm his wife of 20 years now, together nearly 30 years, isn't what's his mine? What's mine I share without question on my kids, on my husband, on my family.
Just because I failed to be financially successful in my own right, but I did try. I was out there in the work place all my life up till three years ago, when it became impossible to for me mentally to physically work and take care of my children, my home.
And I'm trying again, I'm trying to be an author. I'm writing books. Of course it's a slow process in becoming someone who can make money from writing, but I am trying. It's my only hope for now.
Should I, Can I be the good wife who takes what she is given and just be grateful.
Is that me? Why can't that be me?

Wednesday 29 April 2015

jean murray: What a fast year!

jean murray: What a fast year!: My daughter Sarah's first year in IADT college came to an end last night with a fabulous presentation of her class mate's work for t...

What a fast year!

My daughter Sarah's first year in IADT college came to an end last night with a fabulous presentation of her class mate's work for their year 2014/15.
IADT is one of Europe's top art and design colleges'. It specializes in film production, animation, costume design and theatrical makeup.  Sarah's chosen course was 'Set and Stage Design and Production'.
As I sat and watched each student's six minute film production of their art work, I realized I was watching some amazing talent. These 19 year old young men and women put on a very professional display of their expressions of Art. Each student had been given a different movement of art to design and make into a film. They had to develop their art, act, direct, produce and edit.
Sarah's task was 'Cubism'. This style aimed to translate a real form through geometric, abstract and architectural shapes. Sarah had designed a model of a human form with various sized cubes. She chose to act as a maintenance man working in an Art gallery. By accident, he destroys a sculpture. Instead of reporting his mistake, he covers it up by remaking it. He discovers he's a master at sculpture!
Sarah's piece was really funny. Sarah is quite shy, so this whole year in Art college brought Sarah out of her comfort shell. She had to work in teams, put her ideas out there, build and perform them. Her tutor Paul was able to get Sarah to believe in herself. My little girl is doing ok!
Well done IADT!

Tuesday 28 April 2015

jean murray: Mother of the groom

jean murray: Mother of the groom: When my oldest child 25, and only son announced that he and his beautiful girlfriend were to get married in a year, I was delighted. Every M...

Mother of the groom

When my oldest child 25, and only son announced that he and his beautiful girlfriend were to get married in a year, I was delighted. Every Mother's dream is to have a wedding in the family. A time for you to show off your beautiful child, now a man, to all your family and friends. A chance to welcome  your future daughter in law into our vast network of people. She will now be part of this huge group of aunts, uncles and cousins. She will be the first grand daughter in law to the proud granny, still young enough to see her first grandson walk down the isle into his new life as a husband.
It's a wonderful affair by all accounts. Everybody loves to see a young couple so in love make a commitment to share their life together. Their dreams, their wishes and hopes of a life that is just for each other, oblivious to the challenges that lie ahead for them as a couple, but for now, just simple bliss.
The first job as a pending Mother in law is to stand back. Wait to be invited into any help needed or instruction. To be fair, I have enough planning of my own in preparation for 'The Wedding'. My house needs a good overhaul and I have less than a year to do it.
There's the outfits for myself and my two girls to plan which of course will be a very enjoyable occasion for us girls as we like any other ladies like to shop for a special event. Granny will be included, all my sisters will be included, the nieces will be included and the girl friends will be included.
I have also suggested that The Mother of the Bride come along. I think it's a good idea that we know what each of us are wearing. I want to wear something really nice but I obviously don't want to stand out in the wrong way.  I think this is where a stylish hat can come in. It can make a statement, but in the right way.
 We are all really excited about this and are planning a night in The Westin Hotel Dublin on one Friday evening so that we can enjoy the day shopping for our 'guna nua' and possibly a venture into the Philip Treacy department!
I will also be planning the traditional pre wedding night in the house for the neighbours', which will include lots of food, drink and laughter. I will officially introduce my future daughter in law and her family to our lot. This will have to be planned really well,  as I don't want to overlap with the many things the Mother of the Bride and indeed the Bride and Groom have to do in the run up to the wedding.
So all that's left is 'The List'. Now, anyone who knows me will know that I like to include everyone I know in all my events. I like people, so it's easy for me to chat and mix. My Dad was very social also. He loved nothing better than a big gathering. My husband is not as easy with social gatherings and neither is our son. He's a quiet lad. Quite odd. He's afraid that he'll have to socialize at his wedding and talk to the masses that I hope to invite. To be fair, we have a big lot on our side that my son wants me to quarter!
 But, (And here's my but, you knew it was coming!) there's an etiquette to a wedding that young people today think can be eliminated. Us parents have a loyalty to our friends and family. We have built up business relationships that can't be ignored at our very first special social occasion. There are certain people we have to and want to share in our only son's special day. This is what I'm most worried about at the moment.
Of course, I don't want to worry the young couple. I want to reassure them that as their parents, we will help them through the most important social gathering of their lives. We will look after their guests. We will take care of any issue on the day.
We will shine as their parents. This is what we've been waiting for.
A chance to show 'A job well done!'

Thursday 23 April 2015

jean murray: 'Everything's gonna be ok....'

jean murray: 'Everything's gonna be ok....': Thankfully, I'm feeling better this morning. As a person who suffers with depression, I've learned a lot about myself in the past th...