Ok, you do not need money to be happy in life. Self happiness comes from within. But unfortunately, you do need money to do everything else in life. Like basic education.
Some people have a gift of working hard and earning a living even without an education. Like my husband. He learned a roofing trade at age 14. But he used his basic counting skills to earn money. And he didn't spend what he didn't have.
I also chose a trade in hairdressing when I left school in 1982 because I thought I was good at styling hair. I was, but a hairdressing trade didn't provide a good income (It was 40 Irish pounds then for an apprenticeship) and I had to work double the average working week to just meet my financial needs, doing friends and families hairs late into my nights to earn a little more money. And I got used to never having enough money. I was fine. I didn't judge others for what they had. I was prepared to work hard for the things I needed.
If myself and my husband had to live on my income only, we would never have been able to provide for our children's educational needs or the sports they chose, or nice holidays, even a basic mortgage.
Today in Ireland, there are still an enormous amount of Irish people on lower incomes, still struggling to provide for their childrens' needs. Some because of the effects of the recent recession (2007) and some because they live on social welfare.
The people in Ireland who live on social welfare are there because of the lack of educational and emotional help when they were children of indeed the last recession in the late 70's.
The Irish people, even in so called dysfunctional families, now realize that education is the key for their children's future. It's the link for them to be able to move away from poverty and repression and earn a higher income.
Education was always the key to a more prosperous life. We ordinary people of Ireland are only catching on to this now, but our governments knew this, even in the past decades. They left the poor were they were, just providing for their basic needs.
I'm not blaming our governments for everything. I believe if you can provide for your childrens' health and education, it is your right and duty to ensure that duty of care.
If people are on social welfare, due to disability, lack of education and dysfunction, well thats where the government needs to target their resources. they are entitled to educate their poor, meet their emotional needs. We all know the outcome will be better in the long run.
Before my 40's, I had little confidence in myself and I knew that education was the key to my freedom. As I grew emotionally, I felt that God led me on the path of writing.
Now at last, I feel that I'm on the road I should be. I love sharing my experiences and life lessons and I work hard every day writing and promoting what I write. Jean Murray.xx
Wednesday, 24 June 2015
Sunday, 21 June 2015
Young people of Ireland!
'Young People of Ireland!' I remember Pope John Paul saying these words to the one million Irish people who had turned up to hear him speak in the Pheonix Park, Dublin. It was at the end of September in 1979 and I was twelve years of age. I am so happy and proud that my Mam and Dad woke us six girls up at 3am in the morning so that we could go and walk to the Pheonix park with the hundreds of our neighbours to see our Pope and hear his inspiring words. He was a wonderful man. He had great kindness and compassion. He gave us Hope.
As I think about The Berkley kids who lost their lives through a freak and tragic incident and those who are severely injured and those who are emotionally injured. Their Mothers, Fathers, Sisters and Brothers broken.
How those Mothers would beg God to change places with their kids, in an instant they would go. They would gladly wish for time to go back for just one week and then it would be all ok......
That they don't have to live in this heart breaking sorrow and severe agony of their loss.
These were our 'Young People of Ireland'. The examples of what our great country has to offer. These fun loving, hard working kids, who had the gift of the Irish gab. We were so proud to see them go off to the great America, where their ancestors went before them.
Ireland has grown so much in the last few decades and we are learning to get it right. We love our kids so much. We love to see them educated. We love to see them beautiful. We love to see them travel. We love to see them carry on the Irish banter that only the Irish do so well. And they were so loved the short time they were there, because they were wonderful kids. They were full of chat with their irish accents that the Americans love so well. These handsome rugged lads and the pretty colleens.
And now they are gone to God. And we are not ready. . how can a parent be ready for this?
Can we at least reassure you parents that your children went instantly and felt no pain. That's a small comfort maybe?
And that they are with God and maybe some past relatives? And maybe after they too get used to Heaven without their Mam's and Dad's and sisters and brothers and their friends, they will settle in and enjoy their new J1 Visa in Heaven?
And Pope John Paul gave us Hope. And Hope is all we have.
We Hope that your pain will lesson in time and we Hope that you will see your dearest children again.
Jean Murray.
As I think about The Berkley kids who lost their lives through a freak and tragic incident and those who are severely injured and those who are emotionally injured. Their Mothers, Fathers, Sisters and Brothers broken.
How those Mothers would beg God to change places with their kids, in an instant they would go. They would gladly wish for time to go back for just one week and then it would be all ok......
That they don't have to live in this heart breaking sorrow and severe agony of their loss.
These were our 'Young People of Ireland'. The examples of what our great country has to offer. These fun loving, hard working kids, who had the gift of the Irish gab. We were so proud to see them go off to the great America, where their ancestors went before them.
Ireland has grown so much in the last few decades and we are learning to get it right. We love our kids so much. We love to see them educated. We love to see them beautiful. We love to see them travel. We love to see them carry on the Irish banter that only the Irish do so well. And they were so loved the short time they were there, because they were wonderful kids. They were full of chat with their irish accents that the Americans love so well. These handsome rugged lads and the pretty colleens.
And now they are gone to God. And we are not ready. . how can a parent be ready for this?
Can we at least reassure you parents that your children went instantly and felt no pain. That's a small comfort maybe?
And that they are with God and maybe some past relatives? And maybe after they too get used to Heaven without their Mam's and Dad's and sisters and brothers and their friends, they will settle in and enjoy their new J1 Visa in Heaven?
And Pope John Paul gave us Hope. And Hope is all we have.
We Hope that your pain will lesson in time and we Hope that you will see your dearest children again.
Jean Murray.
Thursday, 18 June 2015
Going for it!
So, I'm finally having a little book launch today for 'My Beautiful Flower' in 'Forever Amber' book shop in Ratoath at 12 o Clock.
As a person who doesn't like attention focused on to herself, (really, I don't) This is a bit nerve racking. It's a personal story, so I'm putting myself out there, but I'm not looking for adulation or pity. I learned from a lot of mistakes in my life and shared them with you all so that you can see there is light at the end of a tunnel. And there is always light at the end of a tunnel.
But I do have a goal, so I have to do this. I feel that my path is to be a writer and I am excited about 'Madhead the Crazy Horse' coming in the autumn. Sarah has done a great job on the illustrations and I know that kids will love this book!
And I'm excited about my crime story 'Shame so Deep', (not edited yet)
A lover of reading all my life, I couldn't believe that I would be capable of writing one! Until I started!
It just shows that anyone of us can do anything as long as we believe in it.
Thanks your instinct.
That's your guidance from God.
As a person who doesn't like attention focused on to herself, (really, I don't) This is a bit nerve racking. It's a personal story, so I'm putting myself out there, but I'm not looking for adulation or pity. I learned from a lot of mistakes in my life and shared them with you all so that you can see there is light at the end of a tunnel. And there is always light at the end of a tunnel.
But I do have a goal, so I have to do this. I feel that my path is to be a writer and I am excited about 'Madhead the Crazy Horse' coming in the autumn. Sarah has done a great job on the illustrations and I know that kids will love this book!
And I'm excited about my crime story 'Shame so Deep', (not edited yet)
A lover of reading all my life, I couldn't believe that I would be capable of writing one! Until I started!
It just shows that anyone of us can do anything as long as we believe in it.
Thanks your instinct.
That's your guidance from God.
Wednesday, 17 June 2015
Me poor Ma!
My poor Ma has broken her ankle. So she has to rest and not walk on it. At 74, my Ma is very independent and doesn't like to sit still. It was decided among us sisters that would go and stay in our Christine's to rest. This was going to be a challenge for her!
To save her from boredom, I decided to bring her out for a little treat today and get her hair done. As she's on a walking frame and has to keep the leg up, she has to hop on her good leg and she's not a great hopper! Also her dog Shaggy has separation anxiety so he had to come along in the car. The point being, we couldn't go too far from the car to the shop, (so that Shaggy could see her!) nor, could we go anywhere with an upstairs.
It was all going grand, as we went to Altered Images Hair Salon in Ratoath and the girl looked after Mammy and Ma enjoyed the banter.
I decided to finish the morning off with a bit of lunch in Cork's in Ashbourne. (Which is delicious)
As they are building again in Ashbourne and doing road works (a very common affair in Ireland) there was no parking to be got anywhere.
I had to drop Mammy on the corner, help her onto the bench and quickly move on from the impatient traffic behind me. I had no option but to park on the grass verge across the street.
Shaggy ran out of the car looking for Mammy and after a stressful chase, I got him back into the car. I left the window open for him and he was able to see Mammy across the road.
Next of all a rude obnoxious man decided to shout out from his car window, 'Do you know you're not supposed to park there?' As I tried to explain about the mammy and the dog, he was still giving out!
He went off to report me to the Garda, really! He saw my poor Ma struggling on her walking frame, he knew I had a good reason to park where I was, but the cranky old so and so (He was about 60, I'm sure it won't be too long till he finds himself in a similar situation) had no sympathy, nor respect for my 74 year old Mother.
The lovely Garda came down to me and he could see my Mother's circumstances and indeed my dillema and thankfully had no grievance with me.
Thankfully, there are not too many cranky people in the world!
To save her from boredom, I decided to bring her out for a little treat today and get her hair done. As she's on a walking frame and has to keep the leg up, she has to hop on her good leg and she's not a great hopper! Also her dog Shaggy has separation anxiety so he had to come along in the car. The point being, we couldn't go too far from the car to the shop, (so that Shaggy could see her!) nor, could we go anywhere with an upstairs.
It was all going grand, as we went to Altered Images Hair Salon in Ratoath and the girl looked after Mammy and Ma enjoyed the banter.
I decided to finish the morning off with a bit of lunch in Cork's in Ashbourne. (Which is delicious)
As they are building again in Ashbourne and doing road works (a very common affair in Ireland) there was no parking to be got anywhere.
I had to drop Mammy on the corner, help her onto the bench and quickly move on from the impatient traffic behind me. I had no option but to park on the grass verge across the street.
Shaggy ran out of the car looking for Mammy and after a stressful chase, I got him back into the car. I left the window open for him and he was able to see Mammy across the road.
Next of all a rude obnoxious man decided to shout out from his car window, 'Do you know you're not supposed to park there?' As I tried to explain about the mammy and the dog, he was still giving out!
He went off to report me to the Garda, really! He saw my poor Ma struggling on her walking frame, he knew I had a good reason to park where I was, but the cranky old so and so (He was about 60, I'm sure it won't be too long till he finds himself in a similar situation) had no sympathy, nor respect for my 74 year old Mother.
The lovely Garda came down to me and he could see my Mother's circumstances and indeed my dillema and thankfully had no grievance with me.
Thankfully, there are not too many cranky people in the world!
Monday, 15 June 2015
The days of our Struggles!
As an owner of a construction company, this last recession hit us with a bang! It began in 2007 when the huge construction firms stopped paying the little contractors like my husband! The business suffered huge losses and struggled to survive.
Many of our close friends and business friends lost their business, their homes and some their marriages and some their lives. My husband's company went from 60 to 6 employees and somehow they managed to keep going. I say they, because it was because of his original 6 dedicated employees and our family members that helped keep Custom Crew Construction LTD going. And of course, my husband's good maths head!
I tried to help as much as I could and decided to sell some of our un needed clutter around my home. This is what I wrote at the time and shows the funny side of our struggles!
Fairyhouse Market!
We packed up all our treasures
and loaded up the truck,
We piled on layers of clothing
and wellies for the muck!
We hung up our Lipsy dresses
that once graced the fancy clubs
and lined up our red soled shoes
our Carvella's and our Uggs!
Oh we loved the banter of the markets
And we gave it back as good!
Who knew that market selling
was lying waiting in our blood?
We had our sambo's ready
and hot steaming flasks of tea,
we had to take our turns running for a wee!
We watched our designer handbags get picked up with delight,
Gucci, Armani, Guess and Juicy
that held great memories of great nights!
The euros were mounting up
as our rails were emptying fast!
Our play stations, D S's. and DVD's
staying till the last!
I'm proud of those 5am Sunday mornings
in the rain, sleet, snow and sun,
as Christine and I stayed twelve long hours
till everything was gone!
This last recession was tough and unfair
It savaged and destroyed,
but it reminded us of forgotten values
as more became unemployed.
Laughter and friendship gathered in that Market,
neighbours, posh, poor, sisters and brothers,
all the same, all united, with the same goals,
but like the old Irish that wealth forgot, were now back helping others!
by Jean Murray
Many of our close friends and business friends lost their business, their homes and some their marriages and some their lives. My husband's company went from 60 to 6 employees and somehow they managed to keep going. I say they, because it was because of his original 6 dedicated employees and our family members that helped keep Custom Crew Construction LTD going. And of course, my husband's good maths head!
I tried to help as much as I could and decided to sell some of our un needed clutter around my home. This is what I wrote at the time and shows the funny side of our struggles!
Fairyhouse Market!
We packed up all our treasures
and loaded up the truck,
We piled on layers of clothing
and wellies for the muck!
We hung up our Lipsy dresses
that once graced the fancy clubs
and lined up our red soled shoes
our Carvella's and our Uggs!
Oh we loved the banter of the markets
And we gave it back as good!
Who knew that market selling
was lying waiting in our blood?
We had our sambo's ready
and hot steaming flasks of tea,
we had to take our turns running for a wee!
We watched our designer handbags get picked up with delight,
Gucci, Armani, Guess and Juicy
that held great memories of great nights!
The euros were mounting up
as our rails were emptying fast!
Our play stations, D S's. and DVD's
staying till the last!
I'm proud of those 5am Sunday mornings
in the rain, sleet, snow and sun,
as Christine and I stayed twelve long hours
till everything was gone!
This last recession was tough and unfair
It savaged and destroyed,
but it reminded us of forgotten values
as more became unemployed.
Laughter and friendship gathered in that Market,
neighbours, posh, poor, sisters and brothers,
all the same, all united, with the same goals,
but like the old Irish that wealth forgot, were now back helping others!
by Jean Murray
Thursday, 11 June 2015
lessons learnt!
As a Mother, you make a few mistakes when things aren't going well for your little angels. I did it at least once with each of my children. Not mildly. With guns blazing. You think I would've learned after the first quite torturous incident. No, not me.
I was reminded of one such outburst when I signed Yasmin up for the Ward Union Pony Club.
Now, if anybody is reading this from the Ward Union, (especially the DC Katy at the time) I do apologize now for my interference and for the show I made of myself all those years ago! I am in a much better place these days!
The thing is, there are things that you do at a time and I guess it's not a problem, because you're probably not going to bump into the same people again. Until you do! When your next child is dying to be in the Ward Union Pony Club!
Let me explain; My little angel Sarah (now 19) was in the Ward Union Pony Club for three years when she was about ten. To be honest, it's a great club, where lots of experienced riders give up their free time and their land to teach these kids eventing.
There's a grand finale with a full week's pony camp in the posh riding stables at Tattersalls where the kids have a fantastic week of eventing. They also get their grade in pony and stable management.
Each year when the prizes where being given out, (it was a grand ceremony) I waited for my little angel to get hers, but she didn't. And then the next year. And she didn't.
And then on her last year, (she had decided that show jumping was for her), that she was leaving the pony club, she never got that prize.
Oh you know what's coming. I felt her loss. All the other kids were getting pony rugs and feed and lots of stuff in prizes. And she got nothing.
So like any decent Mother would do, I complained! I complained to every member on the board in my self righteous tone! How they were doing it so wrong. Why can't every child get a prize? I told them what I thought of their unfairly run club!
Mmmm..... Six years later and I'm back and when I see the familiar faces again, it suddenly dawns on me. Ouch!
I think that God is leaving me here on this Earth for a few more years because I still have many people I have to apologize to!
I was reminded of one such outburst when I signed Yasmin up for the Ward Union Pony Club.
Now, if anybody is reading this from the Ward Union, (especially the DC Katy at the time) I do apologize now for my interference and for the show I made of myself all those years ago! I am in a much better place these days!
The thing is, there are things that you do at a time and I guess it's not a problem, because you're probably not going to bump into the same people again. Until you do! When your next child is dying to be in the Ward Union Pony Club!
Let me explain; My little angel Sarah (now 19) was in the Ward Union Pony Club for three years when she was about ten. To be honest, it's a great club, where lots of experienced riders give up their free time and their land to teach these kids eventing.
There's a grand finale with a full week's pony camp in the posh riding stables at Tattersalls where the kids have a fantastic week of eventing. They also get their grade in pony and stable management.
Each year when the prizes where being given out, (it was a grand ceremony) I waited for my little angel to get hers, but she didn't. And then the next year. And she didn't.
And then on her last year, (she had decided that show jumping was for her), that she was leaving the pony club, she never got that prize.
Oh you know what's coming. I felt her loss. All the other kids were getting pony rugs and feed and lots of stuff in prizes. And she got nothing.
So like any decent Mother would do, I complained! I complained to every member on the board in my self righteous tone! How they were doing it so wrong. Why can't every child get a prize? I told them what I thought of their unfairly run club!
Mmmm..... Six years later and I'm back and when I see the familiar faces again, it suddenly dawns on me. Ouch!
I think that God is leaving me here on this Earth for a few more years because I still have many people I have to apologize to!
Wednesday, 10 June 2015
There were a few blogs I had written during my last dose of depression that I didn't publish because they show the inner debt of me at the time, so I saved them in drafts; One of which I published just before this one. Thankfully I am feeling really well at the moment, but I'd like to explain what it's like when it hits.
I am on Lexapro anti depressant 20 mils now and I think it's grand. There are no side effects and I certainly don't feel addicted to it. Because I did come off it and on it a few times in my last few years, I would be very reluctant to come off it at the moment.
Anti depressant's don't make you better, but they do replace the chemical that is low in depressed people. You also need to do the emotional work to find out all about you in order for them to be successful. I have successfully done the work on myself and I realize that for me, I need to be in a positive and grateful place each day, so it is a continuation of work. I don't mind that. In my book, 'My Beautiful Flower' I describe that I was a negative, fearful person. In my recovery, in the last two years, I brainwashed myself into positive thinking and gratitude. Believe me, that is the key.
So how come I was in a bad emotional state again in the middle of April this year till the middle of May?
I look at it like this; You can take all your flu vitamins but you can still get the flu if you are over worked, it's the same for the brain. I had a lot of emotional stress and financial stress in my life these past couple of months, even though I was doing my work on myself and my walks, I was emotionally and physically overworked.
And I fell. I knew what was happening this time so I knew I had to go through the motions. A month is a long time to be mentally ill and I tried to use all my helping skills to get me through it.
Eventually, thank God, I did get through it.
Yes, I know now that when I do come off my medication I will get these bouts of depression still, just like the flu.
When I looked back on my saved blogs this morning, I wasn't surprised, because I know me. But if I had of acted out any of my crazy thoughts at the time, I would've caused a lot of upheaval in everyone's lives.
I did act out on one, but I'm not ready to share that with you yet.xx Jean
I am on Lexapro anti depressant 20 mils now and I think it's grand. There are no side effects and I certainly don't feel addicted to it. Because I did come off it and on it a few times in my last few years, I would be very reluctant to come off it at the moment.
Anti depressant's don't make you better, but they do replace the chemical that is low in depressed people. You also need to do the emotional work to find out all about you in order for them to be successful. I have successfully done the work on myself and I realize that for me, I need to be in a positive and grateful place each day, so it is a continuation of work. I don't mind that. In my book, 'My Beautiful Flower' I describe that I was a negative, fearful person. In my recovery, in the last two years, I brainwashed myself into positive thinking and gratitude. Believe me, that is the key.
So how come I was in a bad emotional state again in the middle of April this year till the middle of May?
I look at it like this; You can take all your flu vitamins but you can still get the flu if you are over worked, it's the same for the brain. I had a lot of emotional stress and financial stress in my life these past couple of months, even though I was doing my work on myself and my walks, I was emotionally and physically overworked.
And I fell. I knew what was happening this time so I knew I had to go through the motions. A month is a long time to be mentally ill and I tried to use all my helping skills to get me through it.
Eventually, thank God, I did get through it.
Yes, I know now that when I do come off my medication I will get these bouts of depression still, just like the flu.
When I looked back on my saved blogs this morning, I wasn't surprised, because I know me. But if I had of acted out any of my crazy thoughts at the time, I would've caused a lot of upheaval in everyone's lives.
I did act out on one, but I'm not ready to share that with you yet.xx Jean
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